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Just a Daily Diary :D

What is life to me?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Hmm past few months so many things that happened to me and alex.. let's not talk about the past.. Life has been fooling around with me lately.. working life.. man teck keep telling me not to quit not to leave the branch.. asked me to stay longer and he'll for sure give me benefits.. but what type of benefits can he give me? a promotion? hmm no idea.. sometimes i really work until i totally feel like give up on everything.. but always have a negative mind set, i'll for sure get those stupid and nasty customers.. so i've decided not to have those weird weird mind set..

Ah dear started his work already.. after he started his work, our relationship changed.. no idea what happened also.. just at the top and drop till the end and i hate this type of feeling... i'm working he's sleeping.. i'm sleeping he's working.. how are we going to meet up? he told me just now.. dear, my night shift will end 2 weeks later.. weekends no off.. how are we going to meet each other? meet only 2 weeks later like just a few hours? i feel sad.. how to maintain a relationship like that? i told him we need a seperation and we cried.. this is not what i want, i want to be with him.. I'll be going to sunday banking soon 30 Nov and that will make it worse.. we totally cant see each other at all..

I never even blame who is he and what is he... all i want is to be with him.. i can wait for him to get another better job instead of this job.. it's not nessacary to get a job immediately.. i dont want him to suffer.. if want to suffer i rather i am the one that is suffering instead of him.. i want to meet him everyday and sleep besides him and wake up seeing him beside me holding me in his arm.. but now i can no longer get those special love from him anymore... i love him.. but i could hardly express my love on him.. i am a lousy girlfriend.. i could not give him much.. all i can give him is to bring him to have nice foods.. sometimes i wonder if i am going to get married to such a nice guy.. am i that lucky to have him in my life? i dont know.. dont know what will happen in the near future..

Normally at this time i'll be at his place having dinner.. no matter what we had, maggie, sandwich, bee hoon, hor fun etc i enjoy every single moment when i am with him.. i miss those days that i am with him.. i wonder when are we going to have those times again.. 1 year later? will that day arrive? i miss him badly.. wanna hug him lots lots.. ever since he started to work, he seems like got lots of problem or stress but he doesnt share with me.. he said it's because he can predict that i am not happy with his work so that's why.. but i am your galfriend if i do not have any clues what is going on in his life what type of girlfriend i am? all he have it now is friends cum colleagues.. no idea what type of colleagues are they.. decent or not? good or bad? i got no idea, no clues.. dont know what is behind them.. asked him but he refuses to tell.. or is it gals????

Family had problem... mother and father worried.. cant find a way to solve it.. i pray hard for my whole family safety and happiness..

I love him and wanna be with him forever... he promise that he will be with me and will fulfil his promise to me.. hope he really mean it.. but even if not, i cant blame him because i only can blame myself not being born to be a good gf, cant give him a good and wonderful life... no matter it is.. i love him truly..

writtern @4:36 AM