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Just a Daily Diary :D

Shaky relationship... =(
Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Me and ah dear going to celebrate our 4 months anniversary soon.. which is on 27 July, just a few days after ah dear's birthday.. hmmm nothing much that i can think of for his birthday.. at first planning to have a birthday surprise for him but because of the money issue, i decided to cancel it already.. i bought him a braun buffel wallet for him.. he choose that gift himself.. so i believe he should love that gift.. maybe i'll bring him to get some new clothes as well, and treat him a great dinner.. people say i treat him nice but is this nice thing worth the value of love? can money buy everything? i dont mean that i'm using money to buy our relationship, but the problem is i got no idea why ah dear would love a girl like me, who got no looks, no intelligent, no size, no nothing.. maybe this is what they called 'fate'.

Thanks to that special someone that actually told me that ah dear look down on me and dont dare to bring me out to hang out with his friends because i look ugly and ya, no size.. i'm damn sad now.. been crying in front of him.. because i got no idea how to solve this problem.. now our relationship is like sooooo shaky, anytime will break into half or more.. cant feel the love in between us though i've been trying my best to tell every single part of me that alex still love me.. but "where is the love"?lol, black eye peas' song haha.. i got no idea how to cheeer up also, have been trying my best.. maybe i should isolate myself from now on and have a great great thinking.. ah dear keep on assuring me that he still love me a lot and will love me till forever.. hmm not as if i never trust him but the problem is i dont trust myself and people around us.. haiz no idea no idea.. people seems to be good in front of you but might be devil behind you.. so beware of people surrounding us now..

Dear i am sorry for everything.. i am so useless and lack of confidence in our relationship now as there are so many 'weird' things that is surrounding us.. trying to break us, no idea if we're able to stay till that long or not.. maybe people will be happy if they see us like this.. well well.. all i can do now is hoping fifi can play with me and make me happy.. that is what i want now.. i want the happy me back..

FIFI COME PLAY WITH ME MUAHAHAHA.. she keep biting things and throw all her toys all over the places and run here and there.. hmm that's my little fifi... i love her lots =)

Chiaoz.. good night..

writtern @9:00 AM